ENABLING BEHAVIORS

  • Denying - "He's/she's not a compulsive gambler."
  • Expecting the gambler to be rational.
  • Expecting the gambler to control his/her gambling.
  • Accepting blame.
  • Gambling with the gambler.
  • Justifying the gambling by agreeing with the rationalizations of the gambler. Her job puts her under so much pressure, etc.
  • Keeping feelings inside.
  • Avoiding problems - keeping the peace, believing lack of conflict makes a good marriage.
  • Minimizing, It's not so bad", "Things will get better when....."
  • Protecting - the image of the gambler; the gambler from pain; myself from pain.
  • Avoiding by tranquilizing feelings with: tranquilizers, food, work, etc.
  • Blaming, criticizing, lecturing.
  • Taking over responsibilities or paying the gambler's bills/debts.
  • Feeling superior - treating the gambler like a child.
  • Controlling - "Let's skip the family reunion this year."
  • Enduring - "This too shall pass."
  • Waiting - "God will take care of it."